citizen of the world

oh my.

I just watched a film about listening to the voices of the world and specifically what they think about America. I wonder why i am an artist if I care so much about the others in the world. How can my voice be heard?

http://www.thelisteningprojectfilm.com

I live a contradiction: I collect luxuries and demand high quality in my experiences in life, yet I want to give all that I have that is good to those who need it.

I am frustrated that my parents raised me to expect privilege and eventually pressured me into casting my first presidential vote to George Bush. That is not what I believe is morally correct. That dosent respect humanity and compassion to every individual.

who am I to do something for another country ? I don't think I am powerful enough to bring a new perspective to the majority of privileged americans.

Globalization brings an overpowering seduction of cash and power which results in a change and assimilation of the native culture. What do we know about everyone else in the world? Nothing as compared to what everyone else in this world knows about America. How can I link what I am doing to reflect those people and their perspectives?

Education may be the only way to change this. Introducing global consciousness.

Every time I pump gas into my car, I keep the dependent relationship alive with the US as the globally dominant country. America only makes up 4% of the world's population yet we consume 40% of the world's resources. The top 1% of the wealth in the U.S. is ___________ class matters statistic.

The film voiced opinions of how foriegners thought americans were akin to the Romans, the empire that took over everyone's land around them. The Romans had no care to know about those thay had taken over, and eventually collapsed.

THIS IS DISPLACEMENT

Displacement in America started in the 1950's when the inner city rerouted the wealth into suburbanization... we are dislocating identity, history, culture.

The listening Project.

i am reminded that i have a calling to leave america and to care for the people outside of our bubble. i was reminded of how much my mind changed when i lived in Turkiye, how I was sick when i returned to America: the food, the mindset, the hypocrisy. all of it was shallow and forced. Not as authentic as the richness i found in the Mediterranean.

On a lighter note, some artwork from this morning:

Here is the beginning of the web of contorted faces in my newest cigarbox book:

the worst time of the week

This is the worst time of the week.

IF there is class on Monday, which is almost every Monday except last week because of several blizzards, the time immediately after class is over until I get my second wind for the night, is horrible! The snake inside my belly tries to convince my smarter brain that sleep is the only solution to my fatigue. It starts at 6:05pm and I strategically must avoid hitting the warmth and coziness in my bed, find some healthy nutrients to eat, and wait for my energy to start kicking back up around 8:00pm. Once the second wind starts up I am over productive and crazy focused until around midnight. Monday is the only night of the week this phenomenon occurs. Every other night of the week I try to replicate my energy and motivation but it never matches up. This is my project tonight: weaving faces in a web inside a cigar box. I hope I don't get sick of cigar boxes midway through the spring.

applying for my future via the internet

I have one foot out the door. the spring semester is the "preparation for exiting" my masters degree. The fall was so much simpler and easier: it was a full immersion experiential education. Now I have to worry about my next fix. Where will I go in 6 months? There is no clue, no hint towards an answer. I was going to apply for a second year MFA at MICA, but the more I think about it, the more that opportunity will be tying me down to more debt and less varied career options. I still want to live free like a bird, pick up and sail off to the next mysterious local. delicious ambiguity. 

 For now, I am applying to 1. be employed and work for PeaceCorps in a faraway country, or 2. be a volunteer for the PeaceCorps. Application via internet.

my second route in finding secure employment for more than 2 months and have travel be apart of it is going through the US gov't. This is my mother's suggestion. I am not going to believe it would include an actual job. But there is hope.

winter joys

I found out how to obtain free cheese from Whole Foods. I will not tell how this happens, only that I am indulging in Soignon Goat Brie with green grapes. I have many reading assignments and eventually writing to be done by this weekend, but because there is yet another snow blizzard coming my way, I think my plans for saturday will be to stay in bed all day with numerous books. I love the snow. I think it is because I live in this magical neighborhood where at midnight on a heavy snow night, there are friendly strangers walk the street to gaze at the still and silent beauty. Maybe that is the only time Baltimore is quiet. Usually there are sirens and helicopters traveling in and out of earshot. Also it is helpful that in my cozy neighborhood there is a gourmet coffee shop and my job/class location all within 3 blocks! There is no need to park or drive in the snow to get here, relieving much of the frusteration I endured last winter in the snow. On a regular basis I had to ask strange men to help push my 2 wheel drive Jeep off the ice. I am procratinating, I am procrastinating I am procratinating I am procrasting. McNasting. I wish I had a job where I could eat all the time and get benefits for consuming and making food. then i would most likely get bored and just want to wander around the world. my brain has this loop-back feature similar to ProTools software that can get stuck on the same thing over and over. not wanting to do what im supposed to supposed to supposed to supposed to. kinda like that. yeah