Triple Cheeseburger Tortilla

so there were days during the school year where we had to do so much, that it really felt like 3 or 4 different days all rolled into one. kinda like a triple cheeseburger rolled into a tortilla is what I'm visualizing. that is today, I am on day three right now. At 7pm I will go to the Jewelry Studio to do my last casting for this summer and I have 4 bugs that will hopefully turn into beautiful bronze works of art. My plan is to make a jungle-nest necklace with the bugs hiding in it. These are some of the parts to the jungle necklace. It will just be a work of art, not really for functional use. I will post a drawing diagram of it, but I dont have time to right now.

Also I finished installing my thesis show this afternoon. yip-pee. God did not create me to draw or see straight, perfect, level lines. I had to rehang the photos 4 times.

Conveniently they are mounted on velcro.

(secret of the trade)

delicious ambiguity

Less than 3 weeks before Im DONE WITH GRAD SCHOOL.

Installing the Thesis Exhibition in 2 days.

Leaving for a month in China in 23 days.

Moving out of my apartment in 21 days.

Where will I be when I return from China?

only God knows that for now.

ahhhhhhhh such delicious ambiguity

well.

one thing is not so delicious.

my cousin at the age of 23, died this weekend from a drug overdose.

and I really, really, badly want to be there with those in my family that I love so much.

I have lost 3 people in my world unexpectedly this year. during grad school insanity.

they make us feel guilty in choosing personal needs over homework assignments.

that is not what life should be about.

it makes me bitter towards this stupid one year intensive grad program.

I am tired of putting my family life on hold for this.

I dont want to regret not going to their funeral.

When else will I say to their sister, their aunts and uncles, grandmother, grandfather. that i love them. that I will walk through this with them. when it will mean the most? now or later?

I am torn. juggling back and forth from my own needs and the needs of others.

Casting Jewels

I helped my roommate transport her work to her studio,

then she turned my car into a tree.

I am so happy on Wednesdays.

this is where I am:

This is casting; you have to wear extra dark glasses so the flame wont burn your eyeballs.

it is spectacular. I feel like I am in the Middle Ages when I watched the molten metal pour into the molds.

This is my bronze sunflower. It still has alot of plaster in the crevices, I will clean it out this weekend!

What I learned first year out of Undergrad

May 2008- 2009

What I Learned:

1. Time management.

2. Drive in D.C.- the scariest!

3. (Still trying to learn how to parallel park)

4. Simplify possessions.

5. Reality of paying medical bills.

6. B.F.A as a joke for secure employment.

7. Stop over committing.

8. Treasurer of local N.A. area service group.

9. Book club!

10. Compassion for newcomers- having sponsees.

11. Compassion for stranger’s children- babysitting 30 kids.

12. Not taking my cell phone sledding.

13. How to help throw a party every month of the year! (JLBF)

14. Taking risks to trust strangers- making new friends.

15. Stand by my own values.

16. Listen to my thoughts before I speak them.

17. Director of the Foerter Farm for 7 days; maintaining 7 people,

2 dogs the size of people, and 5 other miscellaneous pets.

18. Relearning how to snow ski- yesssssss.

19. Taught classes in 9 different elementary schools.

20. Designed and implemented a visual arts program at CIFA.

21. Being selected for a juried show at the Torpedo Factory.

22. Have a solo show at Stifel and Capra for the monthly

First Friday Falls Church events.

23. Became a big sister/role model for Chris, Lilly,

Michael, and James.

24. Applied to Graduate School.

25. Pay my taxes!

26. How to meditate while kayaking.

27. How to pull a kayak full of water out of Lake Barcroft.

28. Paris! London!

Type A personality...

Last night I was hanging out with a new friend, whom described their first impression of me as being "Type A Personality". I hadnt heard this before specifically about me, so I looked it up on wikipedia.. it made me laugh, the impression was pretty dead on.

Type A individuals can be described as impatient, time-conscious, controlling, concerned about their status, highly competitive, ambitious, business-like, aggressive, having difficulty relaxing; and are sometimes disliked by individuals with Type B personalities for the way that they're always rushing. They are often high-achieving workaholics who multi-task, drive themselves with deadlines, and are unhappy about delays. Because of these characteristics, Type A individuals are often described as "stress junkies."

oh well, I am trying to detox from full time school and full time job for the rest of the month of May. Maybe I will be more joyful and laid back. I hope so. Last night the MICA Jewelry Center had its open house, and asked me to set up my mock Thesis presentation. Here are some photos from it:

Conception Shell Box

The sperm are swimming into the center of the ovary (shell)

I just made the stand for this a few days ago.

One of the mock-ups for the Womb Belt.

This is covered with Red Seaweed from the South Pacific.

Layout

the painting hanging is called "The Work of Forgetting"

Womb Belt

This is red silk, covered with purple wax

Womb Belt #2

This is silk covered with Bee's Wax.

Artist Statement:

As a young girl I collected the scraps of my experiences in my father’s empty cigar boxes. I did not understand why I was doing this; only that it was my nature of the artist within. The boxes contained my secrets of childhood, adolescence, and coming of age. The textures of every facet in each box tell one story. The most influential experience I endured was of my pregnancy and subsequent miscarriage. I was an 18 year old, upper class, beautiful, white girl. My family’s health insurance did not cover the unexpected pregnancy; the only option was to apply for welfare. The societal, cultural, and medical environment that followed over the next three months were jarring to my conscious privileged upbringing. In this artwork I expose what the secrets from that time were, and what it was like to hide them. The remnants of this story: the drawings, feelings, and dialogs lie within different artistic renderings of containment. The father of my child, 16 years old at the time, tells his story in collaboration with my visual artwork. This body of work tells the universal story that is swept under the rug in every social realm. The plague of teenage pregnancy hits every group and context of people, but not everyone willingly accepts or recognizes the affects it has on both the mother and father of the miscarried child.

research study relief

I hate doing someone else's dirty work. This research study I am working on is for someone else to publish, and they criticized me saying that the writing was lacking in robust zeal... maybe because I dont want to do this at all. I am happy that it is almost over. So instead of just getting all the edits done this afternoon, I am taking a break to update my blog. There is only one more meeting for this particularly painful project, and the rest is fun art-making. Two nights ago I learned how to do torch enameling and I became immediately obsessed.

And I am about to buy a plane ticket to China for the month of August. I will be exploring the country with one of my new friends, and staying with her various relatives: grandmother, cousins, and friends along the way. I am so excited about that.... however when I buy this ticket to go, my bank account will be 0. ZERO! so my life will be hand to mouth for the next two months, I think it will be totally worth it though.

Here is a picture of me and Mimi, my 'Asia-Sisterhood' traveling-exploring partner!

The name of her home town is Suzhou, known as the Venice of the East because there are many canals and water gardens there. I will take thousands of photographs. I am so excited!

P.S. there are only 91 days until I finish my Masters.

P.S.S this blog will just turn into adventures in the world of an adventurous silly little girl!

(that's me)

coming back down

my ego exploded.

im trying to get back down to the ground.

mom's advice is good: whatever you do, don't piss off your professors.

my fantasy right now is dropping all responsibilities and getting a manicure.

the fingernail status is in bad shape.

i dont want to work like this in the future, to carry my job into all areas of my life.

i actually took a break last night, going into the metalsmith workshop for the first time in a month. it was a sanctuary: i forgot about all responsibilities in reality(mindless bliss) for about an hour. it took three hours to filter all thoughts of responsibilities out of my consciousness in order to get to that blissful place of pure artmaking.